


Not Just a Soldier

by WhateverFloatsYourGoats



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hydra, Irondad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22534498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhateverFloatsYourGoats/pseuds/WhateverFloatsYourGoats
Summary: A young girl is sent on a mission by Hydra to gain the Avengers trust and spy on them. She soon realizes that Hydra isn’t her world. Will she be up to the task when Hydra gives her a mission to betray the Avengers? Or will go against Hydra instead?
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first story I’ve written on here (of course I’ve written more, just not on here). I plan on having 10+ chapters and will publish one every week after the first three or so. I really hope you enjoy!

A loud thud rang out around the cell, waking up the young girl sleeping inside. She turned to face the door, standing up quickly and staring straight ahead.

“Soldier,” the guard called, smiling as she looked straight at him. “We have a new mission for you. If you accept, you will infiltrate the Avengers and be our spy on the inside. Gain their trust and wait for further instruction. Do you accept?” 

She knew what would happen if she didn’t accept. Her fellow soldiers have left and never come back. 

“I accept Sir” 

“Good. I hope you won’t let me down. You don’t want to see what happens when someone fails the mission do you?” 

“No Sir. I won’t let you down Sir” 

He smiled slightly, “Good. Here’s everything you need to know. You leave at 1200 sharp. Good luck soldier.” He threw a file across the room, towards the girl, causing her to flinch ever so slightly. 

“Sir? Why was I chosen for this mission?” She called right before he closed the door. 

“Because you’re a _freak _like them”. He slammed the door closed, leaving her alone once again.__

There was that word again. _Freak _. Although she knew she wasn’t a normal child, the words still stung every time. Normal children were loved, had a nice home, and the worst thing they had ever done was cheat on a test. Normal children didn’t have blood staining their hands, normal children weren’t trained as weapons, and normal children definitely couldn’t lift objects with their mind. She was not normal, but she wasn’t a freak. ———————————————————————————__

__The city was filled with bustling tourists, making it easier for her to blend in. Ducking her head, she thought of all the possibilities of this mission. Maybe she’d get to sleep in a _real _bed and eat _real _food. She was excited about this mission, she finally free from her cage. Of course she wasn’t truly free, Hydra was always watching, but it felt that way._____ _

_____ _

She was so busy thinking she almost missed the humongous tower looming above her. _Almost _. Sitting down on the steps leading up to the tower she pulled out a sketchbook she had stolen from a store nearby. She drew the city while she waited for Mr. Stark to leave his tower.__

_______ _ _ _

A few hours later she heard the sound of cameras clicking and girls shrieking. She knew Mr. Stark was nearby. She quickly scrubbed down a note and ripped it out of the book, shoving through the crowd to get to the front. 

_______ _ _ _

“Everyone back up! Give him some space,” what she assumed to be his bodyguard called, shoving people back. 

_______ _ _ _

Like usual, she ignored the rules and walked right up to Mr. Stark, handing him the slip of paper. 

_______ _ _ _

“Help me. Please,” she whispered, grabbing his arm. “Please”. 

_______ _ _ _

The girl didn’t get to see his reaction before the darkness closed around her and she crumpled to the ground. 

_______ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I finally stopped procrastinating and started chapter two! I hope y’all enjoyed chapter one and that chapter two is just as good, if not better.

She snapped her eyes open, looking around at the room she was in. There was a small bed, a blanket, a toilet, a table, and a chair. Rubbing her eyes she sat up and tried to think of an exit strategy. The room looked very secure, almost like her cell at home, but with a bed, table, and chair. There was mirror on the wall, most likely one way glass, and at least three video cameras in the room. 

The sound of locks clicking turned her focus on the door and, although her head throbbed, she stood up straight. 

“Oh good. You’re awake. I thought Happy had killed you. You can sit down if you want,” Tony motioned towards the chair and she frantically sat down, “I just have a few questions, and trust me, you can answer honestly, Hydra can’t get you here” 

She knew that was a lie, there was a small chip in her eye that could see everything she could see. They could also give her missions by making words appear in her vision. But Mr. Stark didn’t know that, and there was no need for him to ever find out. 

“I read your note. You’ve been with Hydra since you were a child and were sent on a mission to kill me. Correct?” 

She nodded slowly. 

“So why did Hydra pick you for that job? What makes you so special?” 

The girl stiffened in her chair, contemplating whether or not to show him. 

“I promise I want to help. I really do. I just need you to help me help you. What makes you so special?” 

“Because of this,” she slowly lifted the blanket up in the air without even moving a finger. Smiling at the amazed look on Mr. Stark’s face, she set down the blanket and turned back towards him. 

“Well that explains a lot. I bet you’re their favorite weapon. It’s disgusting. Why would anyone torture and brainwash a goddamn child?” 

His words surprised her, she wasn’t used to people caring about her that much, or at all. 

“I’m going to get you some food. I’ll be back.” He stormed out of the room. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Tony’s POV to showcase the conflicting opinions of the Avengers. I hope you enjoy!

He closed the door to the cell behind him, walking to the kitchen as quickly as he could. 

“Tony, you really don’t trust her right? I mean she is a Hydra Agent and all” someone said, walking up to Tony. 

Mr. Stark whipped around to face Steve. 

“You of all people really want to tell me that? You’ve seen what Hydra does to people, you are going to tell me that you don’t want to help a _child _who went through the same thing Bucky did? Is there not an ounce of empathy in your goddamn mind?” He snapped, causing Steve to stumble back.__

____

“I just.... I don’t trust Hydra. What if that girl betrays us? What if Hydra’s controlling her? Using her as a spy? I want to help, I really do, but I just don’t trust her.” 

____

“If Hydra’s controlling her, then we’ll help her. She deserves a second chance. She’s just a damn child,” Tony said, his voice so loud he was practically shouting. 

____

“Tony, calm down, just think for a second” 

____

“No, you think for a second. Imagine if you were this child. Raised by Hydra. Just shut your mouth and think for a second.” 

____

Not waiting for Steve to provide a response, he slammed close the fridge door and carried the plate of food to the girl. 

____

When he opened the cell door he noticed the girl stiffen and look straight at him. He sat down at the other side of the table and set down the plate, nudging it towards the child. 

____

“I brought soup,” he added after a few moments of silence. 

____

The girl scarfed it down quickly, drinking every drop of soup in the bowl. It was clear she hadn’t eaten in awhile. 

____

“So... what do they call you?” He asked, uncomfortable by the silence. 

____

She shrugged. 

____

“So do you just not have a name or...” 

____

She shifted slightly. “I don’t have a name. Soldiers don’t deserve names. That’s what they always said.” 

____

The pain in her voice was enough to immediately melt Tony’s heart. He could tell she hated Hydra as much, if not more, as him. 

____

“Well we can fix that. We need something to call you anyways. Any ideas?” 

____

She shrugged again, staring off into the distance. 

____

He sighed and stood up, it was clear this conversation wasn’t going anywhere. 

____

“I’ll be back in a few hours for dinner. Maybe you’ll have a few ideas by then.” 

____

Tony left the room, unable to comprehend how someone wouldn’t want to help her. It made him feel grateful that he had a home and friends. He couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for that girl. 

____


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be mostly flashbacks that help us get a glimpse at her past and help setup for the future.

Wrapped in her thin blanket, she sat on the floor, waiting. They had promised her a special delivery and she couldn’t help but get her hopes up. Maybe it was some food, or a new blanket. Maybe she was finally getting a mission! Although she was only seven, she knew Hydra lied about everything, so the chances of her actually getting a “special delivery” were very slim. But she waited anyways. 

Hours passed and she contemplated going to sleep, she would be punished for being tired in the morning if she didn’t. Finally, she gave in and curled up under her blanket, shaking from the cold winter air. She had just closed her eyes when the door swung open, and the soldiers shoved something into the room. The door closed immediately after, the lock clicking into place. 

She scurried over to the pile of clothes, yelping when it moved. She was grateful there were no guards in her cell, she had just broken rule number one: never let others see your emotions, especially fear. 

The new person shifted, and she could tell it was a girl around her age. Why would they bring in a child? This place wasn’t for children, it was for soldiers, weapons. Normal people didn’t belong here. 

Sobbing uncontrollably, the new child looked around her new home, her eyes landing on the other girl. 

“Where are we? Where are my parents? Am I going to die?” She asked, her eyes filled with fear. 

“Stop crying, you’ll get us both in trouble,” she hissed. “I have no clue where we are. A Hydra facility, somewhere cold. You’re parents are gone, and you won’t die if you stop crying. Rule number one of survival: don’t show emotions. Never let you’re enemy know you’re weaknesses.” 

“Enemy? Who’s are enemy?” 

“Everyone. Nowhere is safe. Now if you quit you’re crying and get some sleep you’ll be fine. Night” 

They both laid down, trying to get comfortable. The new girl was almost quiet long enough for them to fall asleep. _Almost _.__

____

“It’s cold. Can we share the blanket?” 

____

“Fine.” 

____

She sighed and lifted the blanket, motioning for the other girl to come, flinching slightly at her touch. Although she hated to admit it, it felt nice to have a body pressed next to hers. The body heat helped her stay warm throughout the night. 

__———————————————————————————_ _

She woke up, sitting up quickly when she realized the other girl wasn’t right next to her. 

____

“So I was thinking,” the other girl piped up, “you never told me your name. My name is Sophie by the way.” 

____

She shifter slightly, not sure how to respond. 

____

“I don’t have a name. Soldiers don’t deserve names.” 

____

“That’s silly! Everyone needs a name. I’m going to call you Rose because your hair is red like a rose!” 

____

She pulled at her wavy red locks. She didn’t know what a rose was, but she went along with it. 

__———————————————————————————_ _

They trained together everyday. They became the best of friends, Sophie would teach her about the outside world, and Rose would draw pictures of the things Sophie described. 

____

They made happiness in the worst of places. Or at least they did until Sophie got her first mission 

____

The guards stormed into the cell, picking Sophie up and dragging her away. They told Rose she had left for a “mission”, but Rose doubted it. Months past and Sophie never came back. Missions usually lasted a few months at max, but Rose was still hopeful, even after years of waiting. 

____

Sophie never came back. 

__———————————————————————————_ _

She woke up with a gasp. She wasn’t supposed to remember those things. Hydra wiped her memory after Sophie left. Her mind flooded with possibilities, and she wasn’t sure what to believe. 

____

The door opened, snapping her back to reality. 

____

“I brought dinner,” Tony called from the doorway, setting down a plate. 

____

Once again, she scarfed down the strange food she’d never tasted before, savoring every bite. 

____

“So. Have you thought about what you want us to call you?” 

____

After a few seconds of hesitation, she nodded. 

____

“What is it?” 

____

“My friend used to call me Rose.” 

____


	5. Chapter 5

The mission was simple. Only six steps were needed to complete it. Step one: let them into your life. Make them believe you’re giving away deep secrets, but don’t tell them anything important. Step two: lie. Make up weaknesses. Who would ever tell you their weaknesses then try to attack you? Step three: wait for further instructions. Step four: do what Hydra says. Step five: deny everything. Step six: repeat. Although it sounded very simple, she soon learned there was an added challenge, doubt. 

She stared at her breakfast, bewildered. Three meals a day? And they weren’t bread! Who would ever give her these things? Didn’t they know she was a weapon, a murderer? Didn’t they know she could kill them with the fork they just placed in front of her? She knew they would trust her eventually, but she never expected them to treat her like a human. Maybe Hydra was wrong. Maybe the Avengers weren’t the enemies after all. 

No. She couldn’t think like that. She was here on a mission and she would complete it, no exceptions. She really didn’t have any other choice did she? Hydra was watching her every move through a chip in her eye, they can see everything she sees. There was no way to escape them. They would find her and kill her. Or torture her. Or force her to watch as they killed millions of innocent children. The thought disgusted her. 

She sighed and picked up the fork, trying not to imagine it killing the lady in front of her, the blood that would spill. She ate her food quickly, practically dropping the fork as she finished. 

They hadn’t sent Tony this time and although she hated to admit it, she was sad Tony wasn’t sitting across from her. Instead they sent Natasha, their strongest fighter. No doubt Natasha could see right through her lies. She probably didn’t trust her at all. But that was ok. She didn’t need their trust at this exact moment. 

“So. Rose huh? Where’d that name come from?” Natasha asked after she finished her food. 

“That’s what my friend would call me. She claimed that even murderers needed names. I didn’t want to let her down so I went along with it,” she responded, shrugging. 

“I thought Hydra agents didn’t have friends. Isn’t it a weakness to show your emotions?” 

Crap. She was on to her. Time for “Plan B”. 

“I just wanted to have a normal childhood and this was the best I could do.” She stared at the ground, sighing softly. She tried her hardest to look sad, to make Natasha feel bad. 

The woman glared at her, clearly not buying it. This woman was like a walking lie detector. 

Luckily she didn’t respond. Standing up to leave she gave one last glance at Rose before pulling open the door. The soldier let out a sigh of relief when she was gone. 

Who knew it would be so hard to lie to them. Usually she was good at lying, at acting, but not this time. Something was different, but she couldn’t quite place what it was. 

As the days passed she wanted more than anything to leave her small cell. Even Hydra let her out from time to time for training or experiments. So far she hadn’t left the Avenger’s cell once. 

It was boring sitting in the cell, lost with her thoughts. She tried to escape reality through her daydreams. Usually she could create wild stories in her mind, watching as they came to life before her. Stories of herself with a loving family, a group of close friends. Stories of herself fighting for justice, for equality. Stories of her helping others. She was thankful Hydra couldn’t read her thoughts, she would surely be in trouble if they saw her dreams. 

Rose tried to draw pictures in the dirt, or write short stories. She tried everything to block the memories from flowing back. She didn’t want to relive any of her memories, they all ended in pain or sadness, even the “good” ones. But nothing worked. There was nothing she could do to stop them from squeezing their way into her mind. She couldn’t even sleep without the bad dreams. She felt scared, helpless, powerless. All feelings she could never express around Hydra. Or anyone for that matter. 

At long last she got her chance to leave the cell. One day, during dinner, she got the good news. 

“So. We’ve been thinking,” Tony said, “and we have come to the conclusion that you can go to school. It took awhile to convince the others, but you’re welcome. There’s a few rules though, one: you must have a bodyguard around you at all times. Two: you must wear a tracker in case you escape without our knowledge. And three: once you return from school you must stay in your cell. You cannot leave at any time. I tried very hard to make the rules more lenient, but the others don’t trust you very much yet. If you accept this offer, you’ll be able to start school on Monday. It’s the first day of the school year so you’re in luck, you won’t be too far behind. Do you accept?” 

She tried not to act too eager, but she couldn’t help it. This is what she has been waiting for. This was a chance to leave the bare, grey walls of the cell. It was also proof that they were starting to trust her more. 

“I accept.” 

Last time she spoke those words, she was accepting a mission, this time, she was accepting her only chance to live like a somewhat normal girl. She was definitely more excited about this agreement. Maybe she was finally gaining the Avenger’s trust. 


	6. Chapter 6

Even though she’d trained for large crowds like this, going to school still terrified her. She was thankful to get out of the cell, even with Hydra she was allowed out frequently (although that was for not-so-fun things like experiments or training). She gripped the edges of her small gray backpack, and climbed into the car. Taking in a deep breath, she tried to focus on her surroundings. The car was made of bulletproof steal and glass and was driven by Tony. Her bodyguard (an angry guy coincidentally named Happy) was sitting next to her, a small gun on his belt with a taser right next to it. The car ride was short, and before she knew it, they had arrived.

_Deep breaths_ she thought, gripping her new bag tighter. It was just a day of school, she’d attended school many times during her training. Somehow, this felt different than training, like it mattered more. _You can do this. Just blend in. You’re good at blending in, you’ve been doing it since you were a child_. Happy nudged her slightly and she obliged, walking into the building. She was a short girl, fully capable of becoming invisible in the crowd. Happy on the other hand, was not. All the eyes turned on him when they arrived and it made Rose was to melt into the shadows. 

She shook her head, being scared was for the weak, and the weak have no place in Hydra. That’s what they always said, you had to put on a brave face or they’d make you. 

Walking down the hallway, she kept her head low, scanning the faces of the people around her. Everyone ran around, greeting friends they hadn’t seen in awhile, or rushing to class. Her slow pace stood out among the running teens, but she’d given up trying to blend in awhile ago.

She walked into her first class, geometry, and sat down in the far right corner, next to the window. The other students filed in, their eyes barely glancing at Happy before ignoring him completely.

While she waited for class to start, she fiddled with the cold, metal cuff on her wrist. The bulky cuff was a gift from the Avengers to make sure she stayed in line. One wrong move and...

She shook the thought out of her head. She wore a cuff like this multiple times during her early years in Hydra, and just the thought of what it could do made her want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Not wanting to relive any more bad memories, she pulled out a notebook and reached for her pencil to begin sketching the outside world. Before she could even start, there was a tapping noise from the front of the room.

“Hello class. I am Mr. Briston. Welcome to your first day of Highschool! I’m so excited to meet every single one of you and show you the wonderful world of geometry!” The teacher announced loudly, smiling like a maniac.

Muffled snickers filled the class, but were immediately hushed as Mr. Briston tapped into the table again.

“I understand that some of you don’t find math as enjoyable as I do-“

“You can say that again!” A student in the back of the room said.

“-but I believe it will prove you be quite enjoyable when you learn further.” He continued, ignoring the student, ”Now, let’s learn the rules of the classroom shall we! But first, I need to take roll”

He read the list of names and she didn’t listen, she didn’t care about her peer’s names, they’d never be her friends anyways. Finally, he came to her name.

“Rose. Uhm. Funny. They don’t have a last name here. That must be a typo. Do you mind telling us your last name Rose?” 

Everyone’s eyes darted around the room, searching for Rose. She wanted to hide from their prying eyes, but she forced herself to burry her fear and speak up. 

“I don’t actually have a last name.” 

“You don’t have a last name. That’s weird. Oh well then. Is everyone ready to learn some rules!” 

She buried her face in her hands, she could feel all the eyes on her. She knew what they were thinking. _How is it possible to have no last name? This girl is different._ Rose didn’t like having attention on her, she was taught to blend in, not make any noise. This was just too much for her 

The rest of the class was full of rules and regulations that made Rose even more tired than she had been before.

The rest of the day went fairly smoothly, each class more boring than the last. Happy even fell asleep during history. It was finally the last period of the day, the one she had been waiting for since she found out she was going to school, art. 

She walked into the class, setting her bag on the ground next to an open seat. 

“Hello! Welcome to art! My name’s Mrs. Beck! What’s your name?” The teacher asked, walking up to Rose. 

Rose gazed at her, bewildered. Why would the teacher even care what her name was? She was just a normal student (or at least as far as she knew). There were a ton of students in this school, why would anyone care enough to learn the name of one? Especially her!

“My name’s Rose,” she answered after a few moments of hesitation. 

“Rose! Such a pretty name! Pretty like your hair!”

Rose smiled slightly, the most she had probably smiled in a year, since Sophie left.

As that class went on, Rose became even more confused. Mrs. Beck was constantly smiling and being friendly to everyone. She had never seen someone so kind, and it baffled her. How could anyone be filled with such joy? She wanted more than anything to find that joy, to have her kindness, but she couldn’t. She was a Hydra soldier and there was nothing she could do about it. Soldiers didn’t deserve happiness, and they sure as hell weren’t kind.


	7. Chapter 7

Seeing that girl had sparked something in Bucky, like a memory buried deep in his mind, just far enough away that he couldn’t reach it. He recognized her from somewhere. Maybe they had gone on a mission together when he was in Hydra? That thought was unlikely, she was too young. The only reason he wouldn’t remember anything about her was if he was brainwashed while doing whatever he did.

He had done something to that girl in the past. Or helped Hydra do something to her, it was the only likely option. He pushed the thought out of his mind, not wanting to think about Hydra any longer.

—————————————————————————

Many days passed and Rose gained a little bit more trust. She got a new bedroom, no a cell, she was a prisoner. Although she hated to admit it, the new cell filled her with joy. It had a real bed and a shower with hot water! She was also allowed to go to school without the bodyguard, but she still had to wear the uncomfortable metal cuff on her wrist and stay in her cell after school (further proving the point she was still a prisoner). 

_Soldiers don’t deserve happiness. Soldiers don’t deserve happiness_. She repeated over and over again every time she caught herself with a glimpse of a smile. It was the first thing she learned in Hydra. _Soldiers don’t deserve happiness_.

She collapsed onto one of the tall stools in the art room, carefully setting her backpack on the ground. She took in a few deep breaths, trying to wipe the tired look from her face.

The bell rang loudly, causing Rose to flinch. She still hadn’t gotten used to the sound. 

“Good morning students! Today we will be doing what I believe to be one of the worst art projects ever, but it’s necessary in order to fully capture emotions in your drawings. We will be drawing pain! I want everyone to pull out a pencil and look at the paper in front of you. Think deeply about the time you felt the most hurt and draw it. Your drawing doesn’t have to be a picture of the event, it could be anything. Once you’re done sketching, color it in with colored pencils and crayons. These are due next Friday. Have fun!” Mrs. Beck instructed the class, passing out large papers as she did. 

As soon as she got her paper Rose went to work, letting her hands draw as she thought deeply about the time that brought her the most pain. 

Many memories came flooding back, and she took in a deep breath, trying to steady herself as her past pains came back to life. 

—————————————————————————

The child was awoken immediately as she was thrown into a wall. She stood up quickly, trying to stand straight like they had taught her. 

The guard frowned, but didn’t say anything as he grabbed her by the wrist and practically dragged her down the long stone hallways of the base. 

Despite only being four years old, the girl was smart enough to know not to fight against the guards. She took deep breaths, scared of what was to come. 

He led her into a room and pushed her into a chair. 

She yelped as she was forcefully shoved into a chair, a thick rope was tied around her arms to confine them to the chair. The guard slapped her across the face, leaving a bright red spot, she flinched only slightly, stifling a scream.

“What’s rule number one?” He asked, practically spitting in her face. “Huh? What’s rule number one?” 

“Never Show emotions, espionage pain,” she mumbled. 

“Good. Now hold still, this will only hurt a little.” 

The way he smiled made her heart speed up, whatever was going to happen, it wasn’t good. 

He went over to the fireplace in the corner of the room and pulled out a long piece of metal, the symbol of Hydra on the end. Before she could realize what was happening he pressed the gleaming hot metal into the skin on her shoulder, causing her to scream in pain. The pain was worse than she had ever felt before. 

—————————————————————————

She fell off the stool, hearing a loud crack from her leg. She didn’t notice the broken leg, all she could feel was a searing pain in her shoulder, a ghost from the past. Everything went blurry and she could almost make out the sight of Mrs. Beck rushing to help her. Then the world went dark. 

—————————————————————————

All the memories of torture came to life as she slept soundly. They looked, sounded, and even felt like they were real. Every memory was different, a different form of torture, a different kind of pain, but one thing was the same in all of them. One factor didn’t change. The guard was the same every time and his name was on the tip of her tongue. She remembered it. Oh what was it? 

She woke up with a start. 

“The Winter Soldier” 


End file.
